The Life of a Single Mom

It seems like everyone is posting about child rearing and motherhood in general. I thought I would add my two cents. I am a single mom by choice. I have no husband, never have had one. Still waiting on my prince charming. Mmmmmm, maybe that's my problem...I am waiting on something that doesn't exist. I digress.

I decided to adopt because I wanted a family, a child who I could love and who could love me in return. At least until the teen years. Girls tend to go crazy at age 12, so who knows what will happen then! Again I wander off point.

Becoming Grace's mom is the best think that has every happened to me. However the life of a single mom is guilt ridden. That is one thing I was not prepared for when I was waiting to be united with Grace.

I have to work. Grace likes having formula, diapers, etc. I want to send her to college someday. An income is necessary. But I still cry sometimes when I have to leave for work. What is particularly hard are the days when she reaches for me as I am about to walk out the door. By the way; this was not one of those mornings. Grace has a new toy with a mirror on it. As I said, she is captivated by that beautiful baby and she can't seem to get enough of her. I don't think she even realized I was leaving.

I am very fortunate that my 22 year old niece comes into my home to take care of Grace each day. My daughter is surrounded by family- my sister and parents are always in and out during the day. Even so; the guilt is all around.

I only see her for about 45 minutes in the morning. Then I have to leave and go to work. Roughly 10 hours later I return home. Terrible I know but when you add work, commute time, stopping to pick up diapers or groceries...sadly enough it's true. Then in about 2 hours she is ready for bed.

I feel quilty if I try to keep her up later. She gets cranky and unhappy. I feel guilty when we've had so little time together. I feel like I am letting her down. Sounds depressing I know. But she is the light of my life and my little blessing sent from God. What is great is that we make the most of our time together and make the daily tasks special.

My favorite time of the day is bath time. Grace loves her baths. She can splash the water and the floor will get wet four feet from the tub! As I have said many times she adores her reflection. She has recently seen the baby in the little chrome thing that closes the drain. She has fallen over in the tub looking at her. Bathtime is the greatest.

A close second is bedtime. Grace lets me rock her to sleep at night. Most nights I keep rocking long after she is asleep. She is growing up so quickly. We spend all weekend together. That is so fun. Especially when we do nothing all weekend but hang around the house and go to church. We make the most of our time together. Do I wish I could stay home with her? Of course I do!

Sometimes I wonder if I am cheating her somehow. But I can't imagine that a father or a stay at home mom could provide Grace with more love than she already receives. My entire family simply adores her and spoils her shamelessly. Everyone in our little town knows who she is, even people I don't know. She is a celebrity.

She is definitely a celebrity to me. I loved her in pictures before I ever met her face to face.