Sunday, February 21, 2010

Who's Your Daddy?

I wrote about this just a bit last post. But this has been a big deal around our house lately. After visiting her friend Reilly and seeing her with her daddy (who is normally at work when we get together) she talks about daddies all the time. Gracie has name everyone's daddy. She starts with friends she sees all the time. Mr. Scott is Reilly's Daddy. Mr. Tony is Emma's daddy. She always has to tell me that Annie's daddy is Mr. Warbucks. It continues until we get to friends we rarely see. Mr. Justin is Lucy's daddy. Gracie has an amazing ability to remember names so this can go on for some time. I wish she would ask about Petunia's daddy. Then we could discuss that her Pop is her daddy just like Gracie's Pappy is her daddy. She came up with that one on her own. While naming people's daddies she said Pappy is my daddy. He was of course elated. She says that Pappy is my daddy, Momma's daddy, Aunt Terri's daddy and Uncle Mitch's daddy. She always comes first but we are just thankful the she includes us! So far I just say that's right and move on.

Let me preface this by saying that I am NOT going to go out daddy shopping. I would never change my decision to adopt Gracie on my own. However this whole revelation makes me so, so sad. She realizes that she is missing out on something. She is only 3 1/2, how will she feel when she there is a father/daughter event at church or school? She has her grandfather, uncles, older cousins who she is close to and love her dearly. They are great role models. But they are not a daddy. I guess I am worried that I am shortchanging her in some way. I hope she doesn't feel that way as she grows up.

This is a downer post but I want to remember this and I hope that someday I can read it and laugh.

We have had an amazing amount of snow this year. I feel like I don't live in the South anymore. It was beautiful falling though.

We enjoyed it at first but are really missing playing in the yard and on the swingset. The ground is just saturated with water after all the snow. Grace is tired of it too. She has to settle for swinging in the gazebo and it just isn't the same.

Crazy girl in the bathtub. I keep threatening to cut her hair off because it is like this alot. She is being very resistent when I try to comb her hair. Not tenderheaded, she's just very busy and doesn't have the time.

1 comment:

Trollets mamma said...

You wrote this some time ago, but I found it today. I'm also a single mother who got my wonderful daughter i Vietnam, Vung Tau, four years ago. She will be six in a few weeks - big girl now!

And the daddy-issue... Well, in our case there IS no daddy-issue. Or maybe it it, but reversed. When my daughter was about three she also talked a lot about daddys, and namned all fathers we knew. So I frankly asked her: "Do you want a daddy?" And her answer was very determined, when she said: "NO! Want a hippopotatamus instead!"

Well, she's never gonna get one ;-)

Today she is still very much against a daddy in her life. She thinks he would mostly be in the way. And she is more than content with grandfather, godfathers and male friends. When other kids ask she says "I have a daddy in Vietnam, and a mummy too. And a mummy here!" But mostly she doesn't care a bit! Well, except that she sometimes tells me how good it is that it's just the two of us - the young lady doesn't like to compete for mothers attention...

So maybe you don't have to worry. Kids are fantastic - they find it normal to live as they do. Try to focus on what your sweet daughter have, which is more than many kids ever get. Daddys are a nice thing if you have them, otherwise you live a good life without. (Goes for the opposite too, of course, as long as you have a loving parent that's good enough!)